Corridor mein sannata tha. Sirf ek awaaz thi - shoes ki, marble floor par - tak tak tak.
Riya Sharma 12th ke result board ke saamne khadi thi. Board par names the, ranks the, percentages the. Lekin Riya ki nazar sirf ek jagah thi - sabse upar:
Riya Sharma - 98.4% - School Topper
Peeche se taaliyan bajne lagin. Teachers aa rahe the. Students aa rahe the. Koi bol raha tha "Congratulations Riya!", koi keh raha tha "Hume pata tha tu toh genius hai!", koi phone nikal kar photo le raha tha board ki.
Papa ka call aaya - "Beta! Mummy ro rahi hai khushi se! Bahut proud hain hum!" Relatives ke WhatsApp messages aa rahe the - "Sharma khandan ka naam roshan kar diya!", "Beta, MIT jaayegi ab toh!", "Party kab de rahi hai?"
Riya muskura rahi thi. Haath jod kar shukriya bol rahi thi. Photo ke liye pose de rahi thi.
Lekin andar? Andar kuch alag ho raha tha. Kuch toota hua. Kuch thhaka hua. Kuch aisa jo kisi ko nahi dikh raha tha - kyunki 98.4% ki chamak itni tez thi ki uske peeche ka andheraa kisi ko nazar hi nahi aaya.
Woh 730 Din
98.4% aise nahi aayi thi. Uske peeche 730 din the - 2 saal - jo Riya ne jeete nahi the, sirf kaate the.
11th class shuru hone se pehle Papa ne kaha tha - "Beta, ab serious ho jaa. IIT ya NIT - koi top college jaana hai. Competition bahut hai. Roz 8 ghante padhai minimum."
Mummy ne tution laga diya - 3 alag subjects ke 3 alag tutors. School 7 se 2. Tution 3 se 6. Ghar aakar self-study 8 se 12. Neend? Raat 1 baje se subah 5:30 baje. Saade chaar ghante.
Pehle hafte accha laga - "Main topper banungi!" Lekin pehle mahine ke baad reality hit hui.
Dost Simran ne ek din poocha, "Riya yaar, weekend pe mall chalein? Naya Zara khula hai."
"Nahi yaar, Organic Chemistry ka test hai Monday ko."
Dusre hafte - "Yaar chal na, ice cream khaate hain?"
"Nahi, integration ke problems solve karne hain."
Teesre hafte Simran ne poochna band kar diya. Dheere-dheere sabne poochna band kar diya.
Riya ko pata hi nahi chala kab uske saare dost door ho gaye. Woh itni busy thi padhai mein ki usse miss karne ka bhi waqt nahi tha.
Woh Raat - 3:17 AM
12th ke pre-boards se ek hafte pehle ki baat hai. Raat ke 3:17 baj rahe the. Riya Physics ke numericals solve kar rahi thi. 14vaan sum tha - aur kuch samajh nahi aa raha tha.
Achanak uska haath kaampne laga. Phir chest mein tightness aayi. Saans chhoti ho gayi. Aankhen blur ho gayin. Riya ka poora shareer kaamp raha tha - jaise bijli ka jhatka laga ho.
Woh zameen par baith gayi. 5 minute tak saans nahi aa rahi thi properly. Aankhon ke saamne andheraa tha. Dil itna tez dhak raha tha jaise bhaag rahi ho - lekin woh toh apne kamre mein baithi thi.
Panic attack.
Jab thoda normal hui, toh Riya ne khud se kaha - "Sab theek hai. Bas thoda stress hai. Board exams hain na. Normal hai."
Lekin normal nahi tha. Bilkul bhi normal nahi tha.
Riya ne kisi ko nahi bataya. Na Mummy ko, na Papa ko, na kisi dost ko. Kyunki "Riya toh strong hai. Riya toh topper hai. Riya ko kya ho sakta hai?"
Lekin Riya ko bahut kuch ho raha tha. Aankhon ke neeche dark circles aa gaye the. Weight 7 kg badh gaya tha - stress eating se. Baal jhadne lage the. Aur sabse bura - Riya ko ab padhai se pyaar nahi raha tha. Woh padh rahi thi - lekin majboori se, dar se, expectation ke bojh se. Wo curiosity, wo interest, wo "ek aur chapter padh lete hain!" wali feeling - woh mar chuki thi.
Result Ke Din Ka Dopahar
Result aa gaya. 98.4%. School topper. Sabke messages aa gaye. Social media par "Proud moment!" posts lag gayin. Papa ne mithai mangwayi. Mummy ne pooja ki.
Dopahar ko Riya apne kamre mein akeli baithi thi. Phone par 147 congratulation messages the. 3 missed calls unknown numbers se - shayad news waale. Facebook par 89 likes. Instagram par 200+ comments.
Tabhi darwaaza khula. 8 saal ki behen Pihu andar aayi. Pihu ka duniya se koi matlab nahi tha - na marks se, na board se, na IIT se. Uski duniya mein sirf drawing, ice cream, aur Didi thi.
"Didi! Congratulations! Tum bahut smart ho!" Pihu ne Riya ko tight waala hug diya.
"Thank you Pihu." Riya ne force smile di.
Pihu ne Riya ka chehra dekha. 8 saal ki bachchi thi - lekin bachche woh dekhte hain jo bade nahi dekh paate.
"Didi, tum toh topper ho - toh tum bahut khush hogi na?"
Ek innocent sawaal. Ek seedha sawaal. Koi agenda nahi, koi expectation nahi - bas ek chhoti behen pooch rahi thi ki kya uski badi didi khush hai.
Riya kuch nahi bol paayi. Uski aankhein bhar aayin. Phir aansoo nikal aaye. Phir rone lagi - woh rona jo 2 saalon se andar ghut raha tha.
Pihu dar gayi. "Didi! Kya hua? Main kuch galat bol gayi?"
Riya ne Pihu ko gale lagaya. "Nahi Pihu. Tu galat nahi hai. Tujhe pata hai - tujhe sab pata hai."
Kyunki jawab tha - nahi. Riya khush nahi thi. Bilkul bhi nahi.
Papa Se Baat
Us raat Papa aaye. Haath mein mithai ka dabba tha. Chehre par garv tha - woh garv jo 2 saal se imagine kar rahe the.
"Beta! Aaj toh party hai! Sharma uncle bhi aa rahe hain. Unke ladke ke 82% aaye - unka chehra dekhne layak hoga!" Papa hans rahe the.
Riya chup thi.
"Kya hua? Khush nahi hai?"
"Papa... mujhe aapse kuch kehna hai."
Papa ka haath ruk gaya. Mithai ka dabba table par rakh diya.
"Papa, main khush nahi hun."
Kamre mein silence chha gayi. AC ki awaaz sun rahi thi. Bahar se kisi gaadi ka horn aaya. Lekin kamre mein - sannata.
"Papa, maine 98.4% laaye. Lekin is process mein main apne aap ko kho diya. Mere koi dost nahi rahe. Meri health kharaab ho gayi. 2 saal mein maine ek bhi baar zindagi enjoy nahi ki. Ek baar bhi."
"Mujhe panic attacks aate hain raat ko. Maine kisi ko nahi bataya. Kyunki logo ko lagta hai topper ko kya problem ho sakti hai."
"Papa, agar aaj koi mujhse pooche - Riya, tujhe kya pasand hai? Tera hobby kya hai? Tera sapna kya hai? - toh mera jawab hoga: mujhe nahi pata. Kyunki maine kabhi socha hi nahi. Bas padhai, padhai, padhai."
"Mujhe nahi pata main kaun hun - marks ke alaawa."
Papa kuch der tak chup rahe. Bahut der tak. Unki aankhein bhi bhar aayin - lekin woh nahi rote the, woh Papa the. Papa rote nahi - lekin aaj unki aankh se ek aansoo gir gaya.
Phir unhone Riya ko gale lagaya - itna tight jitna shayad bachpan ke baad nahi lagaya tha - aur kaha:
"Beta, humne galti ki. Bahut badi galti. Humne tujhse kabhi nahi poocha ki tu khush hai ya nahi. Bas marks poochte rahe - 90 aaye? 95 aaye? 98 aaye?"
"Hume lagta tha marks laana hi tere liye best hai. Lekin hum bhool gaye ki marks ke peeche ek insaan bhi hai - hamari beti - jo thak gayi hai."
"98% important hai. Lekin tu 98% se zyada important hai. Bahut zyada."
Nayi Riya
Agley hafte kuch cheezein badlin.
Riya ne Simran ko call kiya. "Simran, ice cream chalein?"
3 second ki silence. Phir - "Riya?! Tu?! Ice cream?! Kya padhai chhod di?" Simran ko yakeen nahi ho raha tha.
"Nahi yaar. Padhai jaari hai. Lekin zindagi bhi jaari karni hai."
Dono gayin. Ice cream khayi. Puri gully mein ghoome. 2 saalon mein pehli baar Riya ne bina guilt ke 3 ghante spend kiye - bina yeh soche ki "yeh waqt padhai mein lagta toh aur acche marks aate."
Riya ne painting phir se shuru ki - jo usne 3 saal pehle chhod di thi. Pehle din itna achcha nahi bana - lekin banane mein mazaa aaya. Aur woh mazaa - woh feeling ki "main yeh isliye kar rahi hun kyunki mujhe accha lagta hai, na ki koi marks milenge" - yeh Riya ke liye nayi thi.
Guitar uthaya. 2 saal se dhool kha raha tha. Pehla chord baja - ungliyan dukhin. Lekin Riya hansi - dard toh padhai mein bhi hota tha, par wahan rona aata tha, yahan hansi aa rahi hai.
Roz shaam ko 30 minute walk pe jaane lagi. Earphones lagake - music suntehuye. Koi purpose nahi, koi goal nahi - bas chalna. Aur us chalne mein Riya ko woh sukoon mila jo 730 dino mein nahi mila tha.
Padhai? Woh ab bhi acchi kar rahi thi. College mein bhi acche marks aa rahe the. Lekin ab Riya jeeti bhi thi - sirf padhti nahi thi.
Ek din college mein ek junior ne poocha, "Didi, aap 12th topper thin na? Kaise padha karte the?"
Riya ne muskura kar kaha, "Padho zaroor. Mehnat karo. Top karo. Lekin apne aap ko mat kholo. Kyunki agar tum top kar loge lekin khud ko kho doge - toh woh top kisi kaam ka nahi."
Junior sochta reh gaya.
Aur Riya? Riya us din ghar aayi, Pihu ke saath drawing banayi, Mummy ke saath chai piyi, Papa ke saath TV dekhi, aur raat 10:30 baje so gayi.
Neend aayi - bina kisi panic attack ke. Pehli baar properly, pehli baar sukoon se.
Kahani Ki Seekh
Marks important hain - lekin tum marks se zyada important ho.
Padho, mehnat karo, top karo - lekin apni health, apne dost, apni hobbies, aur apni khushi ko sacrifice mat karo. Ek exam tumhari poori zindagi decide nahi karta.
Aur parents se guzarish - bacchon se sirf marks mat poochein. Poochein - "Kya tum khush ho?" Yeh sawaal 98% se bhi zyada important hai.
Yaad rakhna - acche marks ke saath acchi zindagi bhi jeeo. Zindagi sirf ek exam nahi hai - yeh ek poora safar hai. Aur safar mein rukna, dekhna, mehsoos karna - utna hi zaroori hai jitna manzil tak pahunchna.
